Monster Removal
by drewbug
Summary: Sharona's still in charge of monster removal.


Monster Removal  
  
by Nicole Clevenger (c)August 2003  
  
Notes and Disclaimer: Monk and its characters belong to USA Network, Andy Breckman, David Hoberman, and Tony Shaloub (credit where credit is due, after all). Somebody should give them each an Emmy - I'm not entirely sold on the Comedy category, but that'll work for now. This is just a little collection of words written for Peja and the WWOMB's "Monster Under the Bed" challenge.   
  
***  
  
When Benjy was little, there were usually monsters under the bed.   
  
Like most kids, right? Yeah, except after his dad left there were a lot more monsters. And I was given the job of Monster Removal. You know, poke around a little, make some scary noises. Threaten the dust bunnies to make it look good, then come back up with the All Clear. Works great with a kid - real easy most of the time. Kids think their parents have the power to do anything.  
  
Seems like I'm still in charge of Monster Removal, only now it's for Adrian. And no matter what problems that man has, being naive just isn't one of them. I can't just wave my arms around and make all the vague demons go away - we're both old enough to know it doesn't work that way. Anyway, Vague Demons aren't one of Adrian's problems either.  
  
And it breaks my heart sometimes, you know? It really does. He's a good man - better than my ex ever was, that's for sure. Yeah, Jeff gave me Benjy and some great memories, and I guess the jerk deserves a little credit for that. But Adrian... Adrian just might be the bravest person I've ever known.  
  
Funny, right? The guy who's afraid of absolutely everything being someone you'd call brave. But say what you want - he gets up every day and goes out to do what he's best at. Even though a lot of people treat him like he's the kid in junior high with the Kick Me sign taped to his back, walking down the hallway alone between classes. Other kids are mean to that kid. They laugh and they point; sometimes they even throw things.   
  
God, you'd think people would grow out of that crap, but some people stay jerks forever. That kid could be a genius, right? Or an artist maybe. That kid could be really neat, but when you're in junior high you're not going to be the one to step forward and take that sign off his back and find out. It's a whole lot easier just to laugh and point and go for the easy mark.  
  
And he acts like he doesn't notice most of the time, but I think he does. I mean, Adrian notices *everything*. One time, right after they first met, Benjy asked me why Adrian can't just make himself stop doing the things he does. This after we went for a walk and got more attention than we wanted when Adrian had to try and buff this smudge off a store window. The short version of that story is that the smudge turned out to be a scratch, the store owner turned out to be less than grateful for the help, and more than one junior-high reject decided they needed to comment as they walked by. Benjy didn't get why anybody would keep rubbing at that window even when it was obviously making a scene. I explained how he couldn't help it - OCD 101, edited down a bit for a kid.   
  
A smart kid, sure. But he's still a kid, you know?  
  
Anyway, you have to get used to pretending like you don't notice. It's not like it's going to make it any better if I go around yelling at all the bullies or something - it's really just going to make things worse. Sometimes though, I just can't help it; sometimes those people really piss me off. Making fun of stuff they don't understand, just because it's different than what they know. Just because it's easy. Sometimes I get so tired of it all that I just want to stay away from people forever. And they're not even making fun of me - imagine what it's like for Adrian, okay?  
  
Sure, it's frustrating working for him. Being his friend. Sometimes I want to stay away from Adrian forever, too. Because besides the hundred daily battles in his life - which, basically, means *my* life too - any kind of mental illness makes a person really self-centered. They get all wrapped up in what's going on inside their heads that they tend to forget there's other people around to think about. And that's hard, you know? I mean, I'm not some character in a play or something, just hanging around so that the lead has somebody to deliver his lines to. I've got feelings, plans and stuff. I've got a whole life outside of Adrian Monk. But there's a lot of the time that it feels like I've got a whole life that revolves around Adrian Monk instead.   
  
Hey, now he kinda does sound like my ex.  
  
He's been trying harder lately to reach out, I can tell. To me, to Benjy. It doesn't always *work* - in fact, like that rock polisher thing he got Benjy for his birthday, it's usually a big flop - but at least he's trying. It's a start, and it means he's getting more relaxed around us. More comfortable being a part of our lives.   
  
Listen to me, part of our lives. I sound like we're getting married or something. Not in a million years. Seriously.  
  
But, yeah, being in charge of Monster Removal can be a really tough job. Especially when the monsters left the bedroom a long time ago to set up their ugly living room in the middle of your friend's head. So now he can see them everywhere - just like he sees all those clues - but he's the only one. And here *I* am, trying to see under the empty bed - in the dark, without a flashlight.  
  
At least Benjy's monsters went away when he woke up.  
  
end. 


End file.
